


The memory of us

by Reasons_Why_Im_Crazy



Series: how many fics can i drag out of ep 14? [3]
Category: Shake It Up! (US TV)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Long-Distance Relationship, Memory Loss, One Shot, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 13:44:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21339211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reasons_Why_Im_Crazy/pseuds/Reasons_Why_Im_Crazy
Summary: It has been a few weeks after Cece regained her memories. There are some gaps that still exist, but they are so insignificant it is easy to fix them once they appear. Most of them are of people that aren't in her surroundings every day or have not been close to her in a long time. Cece didn’t think too much about it, most of them were unserious flings anyway. Rocky says she has in fact never loved a guy for longer than a few months.But something about that threw Cece off a bit. She couldn’t really accept that she never had a boyfriend. It’s like something inside her told her she loves someone, and has loved this person for a very long time. She just doesn’t remember who it is...
Relationships: Gunther Hessenheffer/CeCe Jones
Series: how many fics can i drag out of ep 14? [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2108388
Kudos: 14





	The memory of us

**Author's Note:**

> there is probably a lot of strange things in this fic, not sure how to explain it, but you'll see. I'm too tired to edit it properly, it's past midnight and i've been working on this for a decent amount of months and I just want to post it already. the middle part is the good part, so you could definetely just skip the beginning and the ending if you wanna. Like, how you skip the bread on a hamburger. Enjoy

”Mom?”

“Yes dear?”

“Have I ever had a boyfriend?” Whatever mom is doing in the kitchen, she suddenly stops doing it and looks across the window at her. She seems tired but also a little bit wondersome. 

“Not what  _ I _ know of, no. If it’s the case, then you never told me” She smiles in that way that makes Cece squirm, even though she doesn’t have anything to feel guilty about. 

“Rocky said I never had one but I somehow have a hard time believing that”

“You had a hard time believing you two were friends as well”

“Yeah, but this is different!” Cece argues. “I didn’t believe her because I didn’t remember, but now I don’t believe her because it feels like I  _ should remember someone _ .” Mom sits down next to her, she doesn’t look angry anymore but instead, rather concerned. 

“Perhaps you did have a crush but you kept it a secret”

“But why wouldn’t I tell anyone?” Mom shrugs. 

“Maybe you were embarrassed?”

“But who would that be? Who would I like but also not wanting to be together with?” Mom leans against the couch and looks up, searching for the right words in her head. 

“Maybe, and I’m only guessing now, you_ know _who it is because Rocky has told you about them, but your feelings clash with this explanation, so the memories you have of them that makes you like them haven’t come back?” Cece frowns. 

“So I have, like, two versions of the same person?” Mom’s face lit up as if she came up with the meaning of life.

“Yes! The one everyone tells you about and the one you know yourself”

“Makes sense” Cece says while nodding. “Thank you”

“No problem. I can be so smart sometimes” Mom fixes her hair while praising herself.

“But I still don’t know who he is..” 

“So you  _ have _ some memories of him?”

“I have memories of  _ someone.  _ They came up in my dreams but they’re not dreams because dreams don’t work like that, so they have to be memories” Mom frowns and goes quiet for a moment. 

“Now, let’s start from the beginning. Tell me about them and we can figure out what they are together” Cece shifts in her seat to face mom. 

“Okay.. the first one happened when I was 10…”

-

**start it up **

It was late in the night, Cece couldn’t sleep. She had gone out of her tent and climbed the highest tree she could find. She could see the entire lake, and the moon shining in the water and the stars in the sky. She wasn’t ready to let the night pass by her yet, because that would mean the next day would come too soon. So she sat there, and thought about what happened over and over again. Thinking of what she could have done to prevent it. 

That day everyone had seen her topless because she couldn’t lift the canoos. Rocky tried to comfort her by saying most people didn’t even know she was a girl, but she knew, and that was all it took for her to be uncomfortable about it. She felt so stupid, it was clearly the most embarrassing thing she has ever experienced. She felt lonely, but she didn’t wanna wake Rocky up. She would think she was overreacting anyway. 

As she sat the the tree began to shake. Cece looked underneath and saw someone climb up to her. 

“Hey! Get your own tree!” she shouted, hopefully loud enough to sound angry and threatening, but enough to sound panicked. The person kept on climbing anyway. Soon enough they were close enough for the moon to shine on them and Cece could see who it was. He didn’t wear his usual shiny clothes but instead wore wool pj’s and his shoes. 

“Are you okay?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep and I saw you climb here” The boy shrugged. “You seem to have the boo-hoos”

“Oh, you noticed?” Cece said dryly and turned away from him, using the base of the tree to hide her face. “Leave me alone” It got quiet for a moment, and she hoped her cold demeanor would make him go away, but she could see his hands still be wrapped around the tree branches, not moving anywhere. 

“You know, it’s not that big of a deal” 

“ _ Not big of a deal _ ? How do you know? You would never know what I feel!” Cece spun around the tree to glare angrily at the boy. But he didn’t look as if he was mocking her as Cece had expected. When she yelled at him he looked a bit nervous, and he turned his head away when she stared at him. He seemed so unconfident without his sister beside him. 

“I didn’t mean it like that… I meant,  _ no one else _ cares. So why would you let it upset  _ you _ ?”

“How do you know if anyone cares? They won’t shut up about it tomorrow and then I’ll have to change school because everyone’s gonna call me  _ Chesty Jones _ ” The boy frowned slightly at that comment but then his face softened. 

“You know, I would be the first one to make fun of you when you do something stupid. But this time I don’t care, which means no one else will bother making fun of you either. That was not something you make fun of someone for”

“Pfft. Yeah right...”

“I’m serious!” The boy sputtered. “It would be unacceptable to laugh at a lady when she’s topless! My sister would kill me if I ever did that!” Ah, his sister. She didn’t come to the camp because she was sick. Maybe that’s why the boy couldn’t sleep, due to loneliness?

“Even if you felt like that, it doesn’t matter. I’m still ashamed” Cece muttered and crossed her arms. She turned to view the lake again. It calmed her. “If you could find a way for me to not feel like crap, that would be nice”

“Hmm” The boy hummed as if he actually thought about a solution. If she felt any angrier she would ask him why he cared so much. It’s not like he ever paid this much attention to her feelings before. “Do you wanna know what I do when I get embarrassed?”

“When do  _ you  _ get embarrassed” Cece glanced at him in disbelief. “You seem to never care what others thinks about you”

“I do all the time! I hardly ever  _ not _ get embarrassed when people comment on my clothes or something else about me” She tilted her head. 

“So what do you do when that happens?” The boy smiled brightly at her. 

“I think to myself, someone will always not like me, someone will always  _ tell me _ how much they don’t like me. So I better get used to it. What they think doesn’t mean anything to me, because my clothes and my accent is what makes my special”

“So you’re saying making that mistake made me... special?”

“Oh no, you have always been special” The boy said as clear as the night sky, catching Cece off guard. “If you hadn’t lifted those canoos, someone else would have done it, and the same thing would have happened to them. Mistakes happens to everyone. Like I said, no one will care about it” He leaned in a bit, still smiling. “Did that make you feel better?”

“I guess, thanks”

“You’re welcome!” Cece turned to the lake.

“Huh, I didn’t know you got upset when others commented on you” The boy sat down on the branch comfortably and looked at the lake as well. 

“Yeah. I suppose we all want to be liked in some way”

“You’d have it easier if you just went with the flow, you know that right?” The boy nodded. 

“But then you wouldn’t be special. The  _ flow _ is too hard to follow anyway. There is so much you need to do to be liked. You need to have to basically change everything about yourself

“Not _ everything _ ” Cece argued. “You just gotta have the new things and say the cool stuff. And maybe win some prizes along the way. Especially in school” The boy nodded along with her.

“You gotta have you first kiss early as well” The boy’s voice softened at the end of his sentence, as if he didn’t really meant to say it. 

“Have you ever kissed someone?” Cece asked him and he shook his head. 

“No. Have you?”

“No” They got quiet after that, just looking at the lake. She could see the boy fidget slightly in the corner of her eye. 

“I don’t really care about it” The boy muttered. “But it’s kind of annoying when the other guys always talk about it”

“Yeah” Cece agreed, but her voice lacked confidence. “I kind of just want to get it over with, so you can focus on something else. I mean, it’s just a kiss. I will have many kisses after that” She turned to the boy, hoping to see him nod along with her. But he still fidgeted slightly and his eyes never settled to something to look at. He nervously licked his lips, which Cece wouldn’t have noticed if she didn’t already look at them. She was suddenly fully aware of how slim the tree was. They both clutched onto the base of the tree, close enough to feel each others warmth. The boy finally glanced up at her. 

“Should we just do it?”

“If you want to” Cece answered, still only focusing on his body warmth.

“I do” The boy practically whispered by now, as if he was afraid other people would hear them, and he leaned closer slowly. Cece also leaned and closed her eyes. She twitched ever so slightly when she felt his lips press against hers, but she relaxed quickly. His lips were so soft it caused her to lean in a little more. She laid her hand on his shoulder to stabilize herself and she felt his hand lock with hers on the tree branch. They didn’t move at all, just gently pressed against each other until they finally pulled apart. Cece heard the boy exhale and when she opened her eyes she saw him blushing. Perhaps from holding his breath for too long, perhaps for some other reason. 

“You’re not telling anyone about this” Cece finally said. She didn’t want to tell Rocky she kissed  _ him _ . She wouldn’t understand. 

“I won’t if you won’t” The boy said, sounding distant. They looked into each others eyes and before Cece could think longer, he had leaned in to kiss her again. She didn’t pull back, even though she should’ve, and closed her eyes once more. This time she heard him inhale before pulling back, and he looked at her with an expression she couldn’t read. “Well… I’ll leave you alone now” He whispered and climbed down. Cece nodded even though he couldn’t see her anymore, and instinctively licked her lips. She turned to look at the lake again, not feeling sad anymore, of what she could tell. She felt way warmer and way… happier than before. Or what you now would call this feeling. 

\- 

**age it up**

Cece should have focused on the problem she and Rocky had in their hands. To  _ not _ focus on it would have been stranger. They had made a photo go viral that would sooner or later ruin Justin Star’s whole career. But at the lunch break, she found herself just dozing off, completely ignoring her best friend’s frantic mumbling on how to fix this unfixable problem. Across the cafeteria Cece saw the boy. No glitter and accent gone. Ty had told them earlier he was helping him to get a date, which seemed to work since the cheerleader was sitting right next to him, laughing at whatever he was saying. Cece knew that girl was picky with her boys, and to see the boy successfully leave her flustered was out of this world. 

She supposed she should have felt happy for him, or happy that he was no longer an obnoxious glitter bomb, but she wasn’t. It wasn’t because of the entire situation with Justin Star that bummed her out, although she was stressed over that as well. She had no idea why she didn’t like seeing him at the cool table. Gazing over the cafeteria once more, she found his sister sitting alone with her food, occasionally giving him a glance. Longingly and lonely. If she had bothered to think of it for a second longer, she would have asked Rocky to let her eat with them. 

Skipping to later that day, after they had solved the problem with Justin Star, Cece saw the boy and his sister sit at the café outside her apartment building. Rocky was so out of it because of discovering Justin being married, she stormed up to her flat without noticing her friend wasn’t following along. Cece instead went up to the boy as his sister went inside the café. She leaned against the small circular table.

“So, new look?” The boy glanced up at her, hiding his irritation with a grin. 

“Oh no, I’ll be my usual self tomorrow” Cece sighed and shook her head. 

“What a shame. I had hoped you’d finally go with the flow” 

“Why, like whatcha see?” The boy said, switching to his american accent, leaning against the backrest and held his head up with his hand, looking up at her with hooded eyes. She would’ve said  _ God yes _ but she bit her tongue before she was able to. Thankfully. 

“You’re flirting with me, goat boy? Don’t you have a  _ girlfriend  _ to hang onto?” Somehow, that was even worse. He chuckled. 

“Oh, you’re jealous! That’s not a good look on you”

“I’m not jealous!” Cece sputtered angrily, feeling her cheeks heating and her entire body tensing up.

“Yeah, right. But just so you know, it didn’t work out for us” The boy stood up, towering over her. And still using his american accent, he continued “So, gonna shoot your shot now that y’know I’m free?” 

“Not when I know you’re ain’t keeping up with this style” Cece said as steady as she could, but failed as he walked around the table, standing now right in front of her. 

“So you  _ do _ dig this side of me?”

“I’m just relieved to not have my eyes hurt from looking at your sparkly outfits for once. It’s easier to focus on-”  _ your sparkly eyes. _ Cece bit her tongue again. “-other things” The boy saw right through her, unfortunately. He closed the distance between them. 

“And what are those other things?” He asked, voice dipping into a deeper tone than usual. 

“Your terrible personality”

“Thought you digged bad boys” He clicked his tongue, and it was annoyingly hot. 

“Yeah,  _ bad _ boys, not  _ terrible _ boys. You don’t know me as well as you think” He was just a few inches away from her face now, she felt his breath ghosting over her lips. She hoped for him to smell of goats and grass to have some reason, any reason, to insult him. But he smelled faintly of mints and cologne. And at that moment, he was perfect.

“Do you want me to know you better?” The question wasn’t meant to be answered in words. He was already leaning in, and Cece kissed him without questioning it. It was soft at first, but the boy laid his hand on the back of her head, deepening the kiss further. She felt him smile against her lips and she slowly draped her arms over his shoulders. 

They parted at the same time and stayed with their foreheads together for a moment. Cece stood still as the boy ran his finger over his lower lip, spreading her tinted chapstick over them. Now his lips had a slight sparkle to them, making them look even more appealing to kiss. 

“Who’s the one who digs who now?” she asked.

“Still you” The answer was quick and he smirked with his finger still on his lip. He leaned back and sat back down on his chair. Cece stood up as well. 

“Then enjoy it while it lasts, because I’ll hate you tomorrow again as usual”

“You don’t hate me” The boy said, looking down at his chapsticked finger. Cece scowled.

“Again, you don’t know me”

“I know you well enough” He glanced up at her and his sister exited the café. 

“What’s this? Another one of your admirers?” She mocked and leaned against her brothers chair. 

“Ja, I just told her she sadly has to keep looking” The boy answered her. His german accent had returned. 

“Seems like you two are on good terms again, so I’ll get going” Cece said stiffly and turned her heel. 

“Bye bye, baybee!” was the last thing she heard before going inside her apartment building. 

-

**hot mess it up**

It was a late evening. Cece felt guilt, but most of all shame. A different type of shame, a bitter one. And she was pissed at Rocky. Perhaps she was mad at herself as well, for giving a stranger an awful advice which caused him to wanting to move to another country. She doesn’t remember what advice it was or who it was to, just that she was now in the ballroom at the school with her boyfriend, the boy. They matched awful sequins clothes and slow-danced together. 

The boy spun her around and back to his arms, pressing himself against Cece’s back, cheek to cheek. She could feel her heart beat faster and she let out a small squeak without controlling herself.. 

“I’m having a wonderful time” She heard him whisper. It was sincere and Cece couldn’t help but to relax slightly, but what for she doesn’t remember. Perhaps because she was making her boyfriend happy. But then she felt the boy shift his head and gave her a kiss on the cheek. It was brief, his lips barely graced her skin and no one noticed him doing it, but Cece’s cheeks heated up anyway. He then spun her back to face him, and he was grinning up to his ears. She couldn’t look him in the eye after that. 

-

**auction it up**

Cece hid in the closet of her room. That was the only place she felt safe at the moment, mostly because she didn’t want that terrible boy to ruin all of her clothes. She listened through the thin wooden door and heard a heavy pair of footsteps coming forward. The closet doors swung open and someone tall pressed up right against her before closing the door and making it pitch black again. At first Cece thought it was Rocky, but the familiar cologne and broader built body doubted her assumption. 

“Can’t you hide somewhere else?”

“It’s better if we’re not alone” The boy whispered weakly. 

“And you came to me?”

“Let’s not focus on that, let’s be quiet instead or else he’ll find-” There was a loud bang, most likely coming from the living room. The boy pressed even closer to Cece, letting out a whimper before going completely silent. 

Now, Cece’s wardrobe wasn’t something she bragged about. It was cramped, unorganized and she had even more clothes in other drawers because it was just too full. It was a miracle the boy even fitted in there with her. Their chests were tightly pressed against each other and Cece felt the end of the closet against her back. She heard another crash and the boy hovered over her even further. He supported himself with his arms against the closet wall right above her head. She couldn’t see anything, but felt his warmth surround her. She wondered if it was her quick heartbeat she heard or the boy’s. 

“You’re too close” she whispered.

“I can’t move elsewhere” his voice trembled as much as his body. Another loud sound and he cowered closer to Cece. Her face was basically buried in the nape of his neck. When she tilted her head, her lips graced over his throat and she felt him swallow. 

“How long do we have to stay here?” she whined.

“Either until he gets bored, or until your mom comes home. Either way is a long time” The boy shifted uncomfortably, about as unhappy about the situation as Cece. 

“This is your fault”

“Do we  _ have _ to have this conversation now?”

“When else do you prefer it? We sure got the time now”

“We need to be quiet” The boy lowered his voice even more, causing it to go deeper.

“You’re being ridiculous. He’s busy in the kitchen, he won’t hear us”

“Cece...” 

“If the two of you hadn’t been such jerks at the school we wouldn’t have been here! Do you ever think-” Cece didn’t speak any further as the boy kissed her quiet. He held her head still with one arm so she wouldn’t move away and keep talking. The kiss didn’t involve tongue but it was firm and long, making Cece completely forget what she was going to say. 

When they parted, the boy had stopped trembling. She couldn’t see his expression in the dark closet, but she heard him exhale softly. He let go of her head. Cece didn’t try to speak again and rested her head against the boy’s neck. 

\- 

**split it up**

The next thing she knew she was in a gorgeous red dress, waiting to dance on television with the boy. He wore strange clothes as always. He looked pretty as always. She doesn’t remember when he looked so pretty in her eyes, but he did now, and she never doubted it. 

“Are you nervous?” He asked her. She nodded. 

“There’s always some nervosity, but I’m used to it by now. I’m more excited!” 

“Yeah. It’s gonna be great” The boy looked at the TV screen where the host sat in his white armchair. Cece however only focused on the boy. When he turned back he smiled, and she smiled back. There were just the two of them in that moment, and she felt genuinely happy about it. At that moment she couldn’t think of why she wouldn’t be happy in his company. 

“Do you think we can be even after this?” she asked. 

“With what?” The boy asked and tilted his head. 

“Just... everything. Wouldn’t that be nice? I mean, we work pretty well together”

“I suppose we do” He said fondly and moved from the TV, closer to her. “It feels good not having to always fuss over each other”

“Yeah, you get it!” Cece beamed. “I think we could be good friends!” 

“Yeah” The boy said, his smile seeming a little more forced. “Friends”

“I mean, what else would we be?” It was a rather innocent question, in Cece’s opinion. Thinking of it way later made her realise what he did afterwards, however, made a lot of sense. 

As the question left her mouth, and she was still smiling at him, the boy’s eyes tilted downwards to her lips. He took another step closer to her, and she complied without knowing it. He reached out to her, holding her hand softly. Then, he kissed her just as soft. It was short and sweet, and it ended quickly, as an answer to her question. 

The boy let go of her hand and smiled again, just as fondly as before. Cece smiled as well and her entire body felt warm like it did back when they kissed for the first time. But just as she was about to say something, she don’t remember what it was, the door opened and all she could see was balloons. 

“Delivery for Cece Jones!”

\- 

**judge it up**

Cece remembered she and Rocky made the deal to not talk with them during the commercial break while the judge went to the bathroom. The deal broke 3 minutes later. She had gone to the bathroom as well and once she got outside, the boy stood there alone. As he looked up from his phone and found her staring at him, he sneered like he usually did. 

“A million dollars?”

“Damn right, it’s what we deserve” He raised his eyebrows. 

“You seriously thought that would have gone through?”

“One can hope”

“Hope isn’t going to get you anywhere” 

“I know, that’s why we also got proof” The boy scoffed at her. 

“If you tell the story correctly then all you’re going to do is bust yourselves” Cece walked up to him, never breaking eye contact. 

“The ones who will be busted are you two. And once we win you will have to get down on your knees and kiss my feet before we accept your apologies” The boy laughed out loud and spread his arms out in an exaggerated manner. 

“An apology huh? Well then, I’m foolish for believing you and Rocky were fit to dance for his birthday party!” He took her hand, kissed it, and bowed “My deepest apologies. I will certainly raise my standards after this” 

Cece snatched her hand back and stomped away, hoping her hot cheeks would cool down once the break was over. 

-

**reality check it up**

“Do you honestly believe that I’m in love with you?” The boy wrapped his arm around her and grinned even more. The warmth of his body had her relax even if she didn’t want to. It was as if something with his closure that made her feel safe. 

“The camera doesn’t lie, baybee” 

“You’re not going to get deep into showbiz if you believe that” Cece scoffed, making him shrug. 

“I believe what I feel, and I’ve felt you kiss me back. Multiple times” She stood up, unable to sit next to him. Her face had never felt so hot before. 

“I thought we silently agreed to never speak of that!” The boy stood up as well and put his hands in his pockets, which seemed rather unusual of him. 

“To other people, yes. I have not broken that promise. Have you?” He leaned forward to have their faces in the same height, causing Cece to take a step back. His face should not be that close to hers.

“I would die before I tell anyone I’ve kissed you! Now, go!” Cece pushed him closer to the door, making it very clear she didn’t want him in her house anymore. The boy obliged by opening the door but he stopped himself before he stepped over the threshold. 

“Oh, Cece?” He turned back to her, his grin still plastered on his face. “Does this mean you like it when I kiss you?” Cece answered by pulling him closer to her by the collar, not bearing to hear him utter any other stupid thing. With one hand on the back of his neck and the other still grasping his shirt, she forcefully pressed his lips to hers, but as the move was so out of the blue their mouths were opened. She felt his tongue inside her mouth and tasted the mint from the spray he had used just a minute ago. 

The boy let out a sound of surprise but didn’t hesitate for a second to kiss back. As he did so, however, Cece finally understood what she had done and pushed him away from her. The kiss ended so abruptly, they made a sloppy suction sound as they parted. It was a sound Cece had only heard in sappy romantic movies. 

When Cece pulled away she saw how the boy opened his eyes, which meant he closed them even though the kiss was so brief. He stared at her with a glint in his eyes she couldn’t fully understand. Before she could contemplate on what it was, and before any of them could say anything else, she pushed him over the threshold and slammed the door shut. She stayed there with both of her hands against the wood for a while. She stared down at the ground and a shiver went through her spine. She felt her lips tingling and the taste of mint lingered on her tongue.

This was getting out of hand.

-

**surprise it up**

As everyone were leaving her apartment, Cece sat in the couch waving goodbye to everyone. Rocky and Ty went home through the window and up the fire escape as usual. Deuce, Dina and second Deuce went out the door like everyone else. Flynn had long gone fallen asleep in his room. The boy was leaning against the wall and held the door open for the last guests that were leaving. He turned to Cece once he closed the door. 

“I just wanted to thank you for accompanying me to the memorial, even though you didn’t know you actually were going to a memorial”

“You’re welcome” Cece answered smiling. “I hope you had fun here, even though you were invited last minute”

“I did” The boy smiled back, but not as sincerely as her. 

“Something wrong?”

“Well… If I knew you were going to have a party I would have brought you a gift” Cece gave him a confused look. 

“A gift?”

“Yes. It seems like it was expected of the guests to bring at least  _ something _ ” The boy pointed with his hand to the small pile of presents next to Cece on the couch. She shifted a little, knowing he was the only one to not bring her anything. 

“It’s okay, you didn’t know” She stood up to pat him on the back. He really looked upset about it, perhaps even guilty. He did take her away from her own birthday party after all, but she didn’t blame him for it. 

“Let me make it up to you”

“No, you don’t have to. Just fix my phone that you broke and we’ll be even” The boy grimaced and Cece understood he wasn’t going to be satisfied with that. 

“At least let me give you something small. You deserve it for everything that happened today” She sighed and thought of what he could possibly give her at that moment. There was one thing that popped up in her mind without her wanting it to. She didn’t even think it through before tapping a finger against her lips. 

“...A kiss is small enough”

The boy blinked at her, completely stunned. Cece thought he would grin and mock her for not only  _ wanting _ him to kiss her, but to also see it as a  _ gift _ . He didn’t. 

“That is not a proper gift” he said. 

“You said something little and…. that’s the only thing I’ll accept from you” Cece said as steady as she could and met his eyes. She couldn’t however stop fidgeting uncomfortably on the spot. At first, the boy frowned at her with a clenched jaw, but as he continued to look into her eyes his face softened. He wrapped his arm around her waist and leaned down. 

-

**fire it up**

Cece was just going out from her apartment complex to visit the store, yet it all turned so sour. She opened the door to see the boy walk up the stairs. He stopped when he saw her.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I’ve come to tell you something… before I leave” She didn’t really understand what he meant by that, but she didn’t like how serious his tone was. Then, she saw the car with his dad in the driver’s seat. The backseat and baggage area seemed full of glittery suitcases. They all seemed to belong to only one person.

“Leave where?”

“I’m moving back to the old country” Cece’s eyes widened.

“What? Why?” She felt cold for some reason and tensed up. The boy seemed to notice that. 

“My cousin wrote to me before we went to Japan. The dictator is threatening to refuse care of our older family members and we have to pay a large amount of money to move them to an elder care in Berlin. In the meantime someone have to take care of the farm, and Bobska can’t do that alone”

“Why can’t anyone else go? Is Tinka okay with you just leaving??”

“We’ve…” He faltered for a second “..talked about this for a long, long time. I am the one to inherit the throne, and I need to study back home to be prepared for that. It has been in the back of my mind since Bobska moved two years ago… It has to be me”

“Will you come back?” The boy looked away, his calm demeanor falling apart and Cece could see his eyes watering. 

“I don’t know…. so that’s why I need to tell you this, in case we won’t see each other face to face again” The boy turned to her with closed eyes. He took a deep breath and opened them, looking directly at her “....I love you” 

“What?” The single word was the only thing Cece said. Her mouth moved but no sound came out after that. 

“You don’t need to tell me how you feel. It doesn’t matter anyway. I just had to get this off my chest before I go” His gaze wandered somewhere else before landing on her again, as if to gain strength to continue the conversation. “And... I’m sorry. For everything. Every insult, every prank and bad thing I’ve ever done to you. I have no excuse to how I’ve mistreated you, and with the way I feel about you… it makes the deed even worse” Cece looked up at him, the corners of her eyes burned and a lump grew in her throat. 

“I’m sorry too” The boy gave her a small nod. 

“I hope we can remember each other in a good light. And... please take care of my sister while I’m gone” Before the boy turned to leave, Cece grabbed his arm. 

“Gunther, wait!” He turned his head to look at her, a frown obvious on his face. “I love you too” He smiled but the sadness in his eyes killed the little joy it had. He bent down and softly kissed her on the forehead.

“Goodbye”

\- 

**remember me **

As Cece speaks, she gets more and more certain in her storytelling. Once the memories floods back to her, so does the tears down her cheeks. Mom sits quiet on the couch, hugging her the moment the first sob broke out. 

“I promised I wouldn’t forget…”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know this would’ve happened” Mom coos and strokes her hair. Cece continues to cry as Rocky climbs through the window. 

“Hey, hey, he-” she pauses as she sees the scene “..hey… What’s going on?” Mom looks up at her with an expression Rocky can’t read. 

“Cece had a major memory gap filled in just now” Mom says and continues to pat her head. Cece gains enough composure to sit straight up again. She wipes her face and looks up at Rocky. 

“I remember a guy that.. I really really liked” Mom moves to the end of the couch to let her sit next to Cece. 

“Really? Is it James?” 

“No… you don’t know I like him… I never said anything about it”

“Wait, you haven’t told me before? We know some sticky stuff about each other, it can’t be that b-”

“Gunther” Cece interrupted with a clipped tone. “I remember I love Gunther” Rocky stops in the middle of her sentence and doesn’t close her mouth as she takes in the name she just heard. She processes the information and slowly closes her mouth, blinks and frowns, thinking for a moment to make sure she heard right, and then nods. But at that time, Cece also rethinks her memories and her eyes waters again. 

“And I remember that he’s gone and he won’t come back” Rocky scoots closer and hugs her.

“Hey, you don’t know that”

“I do. He told me. He came here and told me he don’t know if he’ll ever come back to Chicago and that-” she is interrupted by her own sobs. 

“What?”

“He loves me back. He.. he said he loves me and he wanted me to remember him in a good way and I didn’t…. I forgot everything..” Cece cries on Rocky’s shoulder, who frantically tries to conceal her panic while at the same time speedrun through the five stages of grief. 

“Hey… it’s okay. Think of the good side, you remember now, right? I’m sure he’ll understand if you explain it to him. It’s not your fault anyway” Cece looks up at her with glossy eyes, making her look away embarrassed. “I was the one who never mentioned to you that everyone we know may have or may not have known that Gunther had feelings for you and never told you because-” 

“You knew!?” Cece stands up abruptly. Both Rocky and mom jolts as she does so, looking up at her with wide eyes. “Did he tell you? He promised he’d never tell anyone!”

“Tell us what?” Rocky asked in a small voice. She has basically crawled up on the couch, both scared and confused by Cece’s behaviour. 

“That we kissed”

“You  _ kissed _ ?!” Rocky stands up now as well. “When did that happen?!”

“It…” Cece feels all of her anger drain out as she realizes she doesn’t in fact know, Gunther has kept his word, and now she has to explain everything. Mom is rubbing her eyes and sighs. “...has kind of happened multiple times” Rocky’s jaw is on the floor. 

“You’ve kissed multiple times but you never thought he loves you back?”

“Well it was never really romantic kisses!” Cece crosses her arms and lowers her head to make her hair hide her heated face. “So he didn’t tell you about that… did he just say he have feelings for me?”

“He never said it out loud” Rocky says as a matter of fact “It was just so painfully obvious we thought you also picked up on the hints, so we never bothered telling you” She rests her hands on her hips. “And now that I know you guys kissed, I  _ really _ feel like the hints were obvious!”

The hints  _ were _ obvious. Rocky is right of course. Cece sighs in frustration and sits back on the couch. 

“I’m such an idiot”

“Yeah, this time I’m not going to argue with you” 

“And he’s gone…” Rocky brings up her phone. 

“I don’t think so, at least not gone completely..” she dials a number and waits for an answer. “Hey Tinka, can you come over for a moment? We need to talk” 

All three of them meets at Crusty’s. Cece tells them all the gaps she just remembered, this time without crying her eyes out. Both of them wear unreadable expressions, making Cece nervous. Maybe she should’ve kept quiet after all. 

“It really took you long to come to that conclusion, even for you” Tinka says.

“I know, I know. I don’t get why we’re here though” Cece turns to face Rocky. “Is there a reason why we’re here other than for me to feel ashamed of myself?” 

“It is. You gotta tell Gunther”

“He knows I love him back. I told him as he left”

“Yeah, but have you spoken anything after that?”

“It was a goodbye” Cece mutters. “It was clear we wouldn’t be able to, with work and time-zones and all…” 

“Yeah.. I talk to him all the time, so jot that down” Tinka says. “I understand that a confession like _ that _ can make things afterwards... awkward to say the least. But one of you have to make a move” Cece looks down on her food and pokes it with her fork. 

“If he hasn’t made a move, how do I know he still likes me. I mean… it’s been a year since he left” Tinka glances over at Rocky and sighs dramatically. 

“Cece… he never stops talking about you”

“...really?” she continues to poke her food.

“The reason Rocky knows is because _ I _ told her, and truth to be told it’s getting annoying. Half the questions he mails me are about you and the rest is him gawking about how much he misses you and hoping you’ll write back someday” Cece blushes, but doesn’t budge. 

“Oh? And when was the last time he mentioned me?” 

“Literally yesterday” Tinka answers fast as lightning, not buying one bit of her moping. “Go and call him”

-

**remember us**

Cece listens to the dial noise that’s coming from her phone. Tinka told her it should be evening back in Europe right now so Gunther wouldn’t be busy with anything at the moment. She is leaning against the wall outside of Crusty’s and her heart won’t stop pounding. It’s strange, she has never felt this nervous before. The line goes silent, and she hears the familiar voice she never really understood how much she missed until now. 

“Hallo?”

“Hey… it’s Cece”

“Cece” Gunther repeats. He says it so excitedly, it’s making her feel all warm in her chest. “How have you been?”

“I’m alright... now at least. I’m sorry I didn’t call until now. I… I kinda forgot”

“Because of the memory loss, right? Tinka told me” 

“Yeah… I’m sorry”

“It’s okay. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, I’m better. I remember now” Cece unconsciously plays with her hair as she talks. This warmth will not leave her body and she can’t stop smiling. 

“That’s good. Do you remember all of it?”

“I hope so. If I don’t you need to fill me in” Gunther chuckles softly and then he goes silent for a second. 

“I missed hearing your voice”

“I missed hearing yours too. But most of all I miss.. you know” Gunther goes silent again and Cece fidgets as she waits for an answer. 

“You miss kissing me?” Cece nods before she understands he can’t see her. 

“Yeah, she hears him make a sound through the phone but she can’t distinguish it between a sigh of relief and a snort of laughter. 

“Good to know you don’t regret that”

“Why would I?” Cece asks softly and her smile only grew more. She decides to change subject. “Do you know if you can come visit soon?”

“I hope so. If not, then maybe you all can come to Europe. Tinka is thinking about doing a trip during summer break”

“Oh.. yeah.. I’ll talk to her to see if I can join”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine with it” Gunther answers in a fond voice. Cece is so giddy she’s shaking. They end the call there and she skips down the stairs. She sees Rocky and Tinka small talking with Deuce while he’s working. Tinka glances up at her with a knowing look on her face as she approaches them.

“How did it go?” Rocky asks.

“It’s uhhh.. strange. No mean comments, didn’t feel too tense either. I just feel-”

“Giddy” Deuce finishes. All three girls look at him. “I mean… that’s how I feel after talking to Dina”

“You’ve been together for two years” Tinka says, looking doubtful. “How are you still giddy?” Deuce squirms on the spot. 

“I dunno… love is just like that, it does so to people” Cece sits back down and eats her food. Rocky crosses her arms and stares at her. 

“I still can’t believe you didn’t find out”

“Whatever”

“You know I’m going to tease you about this for the rest of your life, right?”

_ “Whatever” _

“Tease her about what?” Deuce asks. Rocky gives her a smile and stands up, holding her hands close to her mouth as if it was a megaphone. Cece’s eyes widen. 

_ “No. don’t-” _

**Author's Note:**

> so isn't it strange how Gunther isn't in the memories in the episode Remember Me? It's almost as if Cece doesn't rememeber him at all... how fucked up wouldn't it be if she actually didn't remember him? God, so angsty! i sorta wanted to write it like that, but i have no idea how I would manage such a concept. 
> 
> anyways, props to me for finsihing two fics in such a short amount of time wooo! if you got any concerns, because i'm sure some of ya'll have it after this, just comment, or keysmash if it suits you. I always appreciate those
> 
> hope ya'll enjoy this and see you once i'm done with the third chapter of Another view of you... or if I manage to throw up another one shot before then. bye!


End file.
